#Scotland – Deano's World

I am on my way to Everest as we speak but before I get to the mountain I need to thank all the people and companies that made this incredible experience possible. So, without further ado….

Huge thanks to PAYE Stonework for being both an incredibly supportive and incredibly tolerant employer. Family and rugby have always gone hand in glove and the family approach at the company is one of the reasons I genuinely love my day job. From everyone on the the board, my own team and to the guys and gals at the coal face the level of support has been incredible from all of you. I’ll be back in early May to bore you all to tears with stories about “weavils in biscuits” or failing that I’ll be dead on a mountain and you’ll have to find someone with a similar level of idiocy to replace me. If so do not look in my top drawer. Ever.

Much love to Samurai Sportswear and all the gang up in East Anglia for once again helping me with the next chapter in my life. You make the best sports kit out there and definitely have the best people working for you! Thanks for treating me like one of the family and you can never know how much everything you do is most sincerely appreciated

Dhan’yavāda to the Gurkha Kitchen and their incredible staff for allowing me to host a fantastic fundraising dinner in their restaurant and demonstrating once again why the Nepalese people are renowned for their hospitality!

Help is always appreciated but even more so when it is unsolicited. Thanks to John Fisher School, staff and pupils for supporting me by taking on their own Everest challenge and also donating the proceeds from their “mufty” day to my sponsorship page. It never ceases to amaze me how much John Fisher, a state school, does with regards to the game of rugby and I firmly believe they should get a lot more credit than they do given how many players and coaches they help on their journey.

I would also like to thank Huge Events, Built Visible, Formark Scaffolding, Hugh Anthony, Samurai RFC, Old Mid-Whitgiftian RFC, Wooden Spoon (Surrey), The Mercer Restaurant and Andrew Campbell Safaris for everything they did to help get me to hit my fundraising target and to get a fat broken old bugger like me on Everest.

Cheers to Ollie Phillips for realising when I was drunk enough to agree to do this bloody thing in the first place and then backing that up with a huge amount of help and assistance to actually get me on the plane.

Special thanks to Paul Jordan, Matt Mitchell, Miles Hayward, Graham Allen, Tamara Taylor & Paul Watkins for so much positive encouragement in the early stages when I didn’t think I would be able to complete that bloody Fairfield Horseshoe. You guys dropped me back in the bowl when I felt very much like a fish out of water. In a desert. Being hunted by a very hungry Eagle. I cannot wait to smash this on the mountain with you guys!

My gratitude to Hugh McCardy, Adedoyin Layade, Imogene Anglaret, Rob Anglaret, Zinzan Brooke, Purna Gurung, Matt Kember, Terry Sands, Rose Sands, Sarah Atkinson, Andrew Dean, Tom Street, John Inverdale, Chris Robshaw, Damian Hopley, David McCrae, Sirish Gurung, Joe Marler, Lawrence Dallaglio, Bryan Hodges, Adam “Bomb” Jones, Steve Kember, Mark Butcher, Sam Showering, John Pennycuick and Sophie Kidd all of whom donated prizes, time or expertise to my fundraising events and without whom I seriously doubt that I would have hit my sponsorship target.

I would also like to take time to thank all the individuals who sponsored me: Adrian Paye, Anna Paye, Antony Stagg, Mark Macaskill, Emma Aalders, Mark Aalders, Benjamin Aalders, Will Wilson, David Abercrombie, Alex Richardson, Geoff Griffiths, Alexander Dean, Catherine Dean, Christopher Dean, Marion Cross, Andrew Campbell, Rachel Hattersley, Caren Cummings, Tony Cummings, Alex Boyd, Luke Treharne, Scott Wight, Ben Ellan, Stephanie Ellan, Peter Wilby, Tom Cuff-Burnett, Will Matthews, Mark Coote, Rob Cottrell, Martyn Worsley, Dino Fritz, Mike Robinson, The Gouldstones, Faye Almy, Carla Cox, Matt Higgins, Karrie White, Linda Viner, Martin Harvey, Rick Eling, Rod Palmer, Tim Kerr, Rachael Burford, Daniel Alcon, Andrew Burnett, Kate Kirven, Christine Stobbs, Garry Gordon (Sunshine 7s), Paul Christopher, Darran Sly, Monique Tomiczek, Paul Archer, Dylan James, Paul Martin, Dom Peachey, Jon Hopper, The Clabburns, all those who donated very kindly but anonymously and everyone who donated by text.

I’d also like to thank all the rugby legends who took the time to send me good luck messages – the message from the USA 7s gang was truly epic!

Almost there……..thanks to Sarah, Jules, Amber, Matt & Laurie at Wooden Spoon for doing all the leg work to make sure this expedition and challenge took place.

Last and by no means least I genuinely couldn’t have done any of this without the support of my incredible wife. Buffy has put up with all my shit, all my meltdowns away from the public eye and never batted an eyelid when I told her I was off to Everest to play a game of rugby. She is my rock, my sounding board, my motivator and my inspiration who never fails to make me smile. Plus she cries at almost every remotely sad moment in every single film ever made which is unbelievably cute!

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PS: Buffy in answer to your questions: a) yes I did increase my life insurance premium, why? b) no I will definitely not mention our amazing cats Apollo, Athena, Artemis and Achilles in my blog that would just be stupid! c) I used your toothbrush to do it I hope you don’t mind d) 42 e) buried in the garden f) I have no idea where the 5th cat came from and g) why said cat is called Ares.

PPS: If your name or company has not appeared anywhere above and this makes you feel sad then rejoice! You can rectify this immediately by sponsoring me here

OK I have 185 days until I get on a plane to Nepal and at this point I am very aware that I am still 19 stone and I need to lose roughly another 3 stone. I am also aware that apart from the near death experience in the Lake District a few weeks back I haven’t really done much mountain walking since I did the Three Peaks in 2009.

I probably need to play a few games of rugby as well because if I can’t play a game at sea level in Surrey I suspect I might struggle a bit at over 6500m in Tibet.

I also need to work out how to replicate training at 6500m because unless there is a substantial, and as yet undiscovered 8000m high mountain, somewhere in the UK there are not many options locally for me to stagger up or fall down. I still need to climb a few of the usual UK peaks like Snowdon, Ben Nevis, Pen-y-Fan and Waun Fach and I have booked trips to Wales, The Lakes and Scotland over the next three months but I suspect they will just help with the cardio fitness rather than the altitude.

It isn’t all bad news as I’ve joined a gym, the Nuffield Health club, in Chislehurst just off the A20 so I can get in early on the way to the office. The even better news is that I’ve even been to it and no, to the cynical bastards among you, not just to use the Sauna and Jacuzzi. In fact I have dropped from over 20 stone to 19 stone since joining so I must be doing something right.

I’ve also managed to raise over £1000 of my £10,000 target through the kindness of donations from friends, family and other well wishers. If you can afford to donate to the fantastic charity that is Wooden Spoon and help me hit my fundraising target please click here

I have also been lucky enough to have received numerous suggestions and messages of support from friends and family. A friend of mine, we’ll call him “Dave”, who teaches mathematics has helped me break down all the problems, tasks and issues I have into simple formulae so it doesn’t all seem so daunting.

Helping Disadvantaged Kids = (Mountain + Rugby + Altitude + Pain) x Fundraising

(Mountains x Altitude) + (Gym + Rugby – Cake)/Gin* = Not Dying*

*Apparently to make these formula work Gin is a constant and Not Dying is a variable.

“Dave” also suggested I come up and play a few Vets games for my old club, Old Mid-Whitgiftian, in Sanderstead. He suggested this whilst lying on the sofa, watching Peppa Pig and moaning about his aches and pains from playing the day before and surrounded by used ice packs. The whole situation was made infinitely more amusing when his son ran in and jumped on him. I suspect it will take until the new year for me to find the necessary courage to actually pull a pair of boots on and run out on the pitch but I think it prudent to see if I can still catch and/or pass.

“Dave” also suggested I take up smoking because apparently research has shown that smokers do better at altitude than sensible people. As I very much suspect this research was done by the sort of people who write the “Six Months of Snow Hell and -20° C In May” weather reports for the Daily Express so I decided to take his suggestion “under advisement”. Apart from the other obvious disadvantages I wasn’t sure that making myself smell even worse on the side of a mountain was in anyone’s best interests least of all the poor unfortunate soul who has to share a tent with me.

I also just heard that the fabulous team at Wooden Spoon are also sorting out “Altitude Training” for all the challengers and this sounds both incredible and awful. Simulating the effects of playing rugby at 6500m sounds dangerously close to “simulated dying” on a mountain so I am nervously awaiting the details.

So between trips to mountains, suggestions from “Dave”, giving up cake, drinking Gin, going to the gym and “simulated dying” I have the basics of the plan to get me ready to play rugby on Everest. My wife liked this plan so much she recently increased my life insurance premium and has started saying things like “I will miss you forever you know”. In hindsight I am not sure watching the film Everest with her was such a good idea.

So the planning is done (ish) and now comes the hard work. It most probably will not be plain sailing but I am excited about seeing what I am actually capable of and how I can adapt to the curve balls thrown at me. The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft agley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain, For promis’d joy!